Hi, I’m Mary Holmes, the founder of PassionFlames.


I’m a wife and mother of two beautiful girls. My marriage today is one of the high points of my life, but this wasn’t always the case.

I will share with you something only a few of my closest friends know. My marriage was failing, in fact I was certain I would lose my husband.

Going further back in time, to when we first got married. Life was great, we couldn’t be more in love. But after the birth of my eldest daughter, something changed. We became strangers and grew a part. Sex became a routine, even a chore and arguments became frequent.

Looking back, I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t want the world to know my marriage was a failure. Instead, I kept it all locked away, until the pain was too much to bear. Even then, coming from a conservative family, I didn’t want to feel judged, so I only confided in my best friend.

Lucky for me, my friend Robyn was there for me whenever I needed her. If I needed advice, she was there, if I needed support, or a shoulder to cry on, she was there. To this day, I am thankful to her, for helping me get through those troubled times.

After pouring my heart out to Robyn, I realized something had to change or divorce was inevitable. At that moment I felt a renewed desire to save my marriage. I set about learning as much as I could. I spent hours at the library and on my laptop. I bought countless books, and would read until my head hurt.

It’s only when I applied the advice, I learned, how much misinformation was out there. I won’t point fingers or state names, but some of the advice you can find is dangerous for your marriage.

So, I took matters into my own hands. I took some of the advice that made sense and applied it to my marriage. In essence, I experimented, to find where things had gone wrong. I made small changes here and there, while documenting what worked and what didn’t.

It wasn’t always easy, and I’ll admit, some days I lost hope. But I did reconnect with my husband and we did save our marriage. This was over 10 years ago, our daughters are all grown up now, and we’re all one big happy family.

But saving my own marriage wasn’t enough. I’ve spent the last 10 years volunteering at marriage crisis centers. I’ve made it my life mission to help couples overcome marital issues and bring their marriage back to a solid state of happiness.

Why?, well I truly believe we all deserve to be happy in our lives. And divorce makes me angry. So many divorces are preventable with the right advice and intervention. But unfortunately not all couples know where to turn for good advice.

This is why I started this blog. To share my journey and the experiences that helped save my marriage. Being honest, the last 10 years of my life have been extremely rewarding. My marriage is stronger than ever, and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to help other couples.

Still, I remember the misery and heartache from those 3 troubled years. Remember, marriage is a complicated and at times testing relationship. Some conflict is normal in marriage, but constant conflict is a broken marriage.

So, if you’re getting married soon, or already married, this blog is for you. And don’t forget, you are never alone, even when things get bad, there is hope and there is help. This blog is not just about me but also about you. Feel free to ask questions and share your own experiences.

Remember, together we are stronger.

Before you leave:

Make sure you join the PassionFlames community and subscribe to the newsletter.

As a thank you, I’ll send you a free copy of my marriage therapy book, happy together: secrets of a happy relationship.

You’ll also get access to my free email marriage counseling course, marriage matters.

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Not convinced? Check out the free resources below:

Free online marriage counseling resources

Further Reading:

How to fix a broken marriage

How to cope in a sexless marriage

Common marriage problems and solutions

Often overlooked marital problems

Healthy Marriage Quiz:

Take a free quiz to help you assess if it’s possible to save your marriage:

Healthy Marriage Quiz